What do you desire? What makes you itch? What sort of situation would you like?….What would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life?”
– Alan Watts
There is an existential angst that plagues our generation. I was speaking to a friend today and he told me there is scientific evidence that this phenomenon takes hold of you most critically at the age of 43. I just turned 44. You start to wonder what you really want out of life and actually, if you do know, question whether there is anything you can do about it anyway. We are the “sandwich generation” – ageing parents on one hand and growing kids on the other – how do you manage life let alone reap all that it may have to offer you? Is time running out?
I’ll tell you a funny story. We were living in London in 2008/2009 during the financial crisis and watching everything melt down around us and we sat down to discuss what we should do if things really got ugly, I’m talking modern day apocalypse – bank runs, chaos in the streets, Europe regressing back to feudal times, the whole worst case scenario. We decided the best course of action would be to abandon all our belongings, get on a ship if necessary, make our way to the family cabin in the Rockies and hang out for a few years – grow our own vegetables, spend time with the kids and let things pass over.
And then we started thinking a bit more and, as you do, turned our attention to what we would do if we won the lottery? Well we decided the best course of action would be to abandon all our belongings, get on a ship if necessary, make our way to the family cabin in the Rockies and hang out for a few years – grow our own vegetables, spend time with the kids and let things pass over. Hmmm….
How is this possible? The worst case scenario and the best case scenario end up the same but with all the power in the world to choose that path we don’t act. We feel trapped by indecision and what we should do constrains us from what we must do to live a life of fulfillment. It’s really interesting, no?
As planners we owe it to clients to help them explore their goals as fully as possible. When you passionately believe your plan is tied to meaningful goals then you will see it through. The focus has to be the goals, otherwise there is no point. You don’t need a catastrophe or lottery win to act – you just need a good honest discussion about what you desire in life.